The Problem With Vegeta
by Darqstar
Summary: Vegeta is rushed to the hospital for emergency surgery. What was wrong with him? Review would be nice, if so inclined.


**DISCLAIMER:** I don't have any rights to DBZ at all. No, I don't. Really. None, zip, zero, nada. I probably broke laws even writing this, but I'm not the first, I won't be the last, and I do believe that several wrongs eventually will make a right. **  
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**Vegeta's Problem.**

_By Darqstar_**  
**

Bulma looked up as the door from the OR opened and the doctor came out. Rising, she headed over, as the doctor was coming to her. "Is he all right?" she asked, trying desperatly not to break down. Lately Vegeta had been complaining about stomach aches and intestinal problems, but since Vegeta _always_ needed to find something to complain about, Bulma had ignored it, or given him Pepto Bismal. She should have paid more attention, because this morning, while eating breakfast, Vegeta had turned pale, thrown up a huge amount of blood, and passed out cold, his face falling into a bowl of Cream of Wheat.

They had called an ambulance, that rushed Vegeta to the hospital, where a doctor determined he needed immediete surgery. That was twelve hours ago. Finally, Bulma could find out what was wrong.

"He's going to be fine, Mrs. Briefs," the doctor said. "A few days of rest and he'll be up and around as if this never happened."

"Thank god!" Bulma almost wept in gratitude. Yeah, Vegeta was a pain in the butt most of the time, cranky, irritable, and full of himself, but he was still her man and she loved him. Tears of relief began to fall down her face, until she saw the doctor wasn't smiling. "You're not telling me everything, are you?"

The doctor sighed. "Please, have a seat."

Bulma sat down, that feeling of fear beginning to rip through her stomach again. "Doctor, shoot me straight, what happened to him?"

The doctor bit his lip, wondering where to begin. "Well, he was suffering from a great deal of internal bleeding, so we wanted to see what was causing it."

"And I assume you found out?" Bulma asked.

"Er, yes we did. And, uh, you're probably not going to believe this, but... well, has your husband spent a lot of time in space?"

Bulma nodded. _Oh, you don't know the half of it,_ she thought.

"I thought so." The doctor scratched his head. "We, uh, found a parasite inside of him, one that certainly isn't indigenous to this planet."

"A parasite?" Bulma's head tipped to one side. "Doctor, I know you're trying to be nice, but I'm a strong woman. As long as I know Vegeta will be all right, I can take anything, so just tell me."

The doctor sighed. "All right. Well, when we opened your husband up, we found a giagantic creature that looked rather like an arachnid, attached to his brain stem. We believe the creature was living off of various brain secretions."

Bulma stared at the doctor, wondering if he'd been hitting the medicine cabinet a bit more than he ought to be. "A giant spider was living off my husband's brain?" she asked.

"Well, something like that," The doctor said. "But it wasn't actually eating your husband's brain, it was just...feeding off of the secretions."

"Eww, did it cause any damage?" Bulma asked, having visions of Vegeta being turned into a drooling idiot. While it might be a fast way to end his ongoing fued with Goku, chances are it wouldn't improve his abilities in the sack and she would rather avoid that.

"Not as much as you might think," the doctor assured her. "At least physical damage. His intelligence is still intact. His entire brain is intact. The creature was feeding off his brain, it had no desire to kill him and destroy its food source. The reason for the bleeding and his other problems were that the creature was inadvertantly affecting the areas of the brain that control digestion and the workings of the lower intestines. But... well, the creature did have the ability to control parts of the brain thus creating secretions needed for survival. The manipulations would have made some dramatic changes to his personality."

"What type of changes?" Bulma eyed the doctor carefully. He'd better not be giving her a load of crap, especially not when it came to her husband.

"Well, Mrs. Briefs, I don't want to, ehem, _judge_ your relationship, but tell me, is your husband rather short tempered? Easily irritable? Does he suffer from delusions of grandure? Believe he must be the best there is at whatever he does and will dedicate his entire being to becoming more powerful if he percieves someone has surpassed him?"

Bulma nodded, her eyes wide. "My god, that's Vegeta to a T!"

"Not really," The doctor said, "It turns out that was most likely the arachnid. You're probably going to find yourself dealing with a much different man from here on out. He'll be more patient, less obsessed, a better husband and father as well."

Bulma stared at the doctor, needing a few minutes to absorb what the doctor was telling her. Visions of a calm, peaceful, Vegeta began filling her mind. A Vegeta that actually spent time with her instead of just hopping in for a quick boff and then back to the gravity chamber for practise. A Vegeta that might not toss a baby fit every time she wanted to go somewhere that didn't involve people fighting. A Vegeta that could get along with Goku. It was a dream come true. "My God, Doctor, I don't like to see Vegeta suffer, but I'm really glad this happened, so we could fix him!"

The doctor smiled and patted her hand. "I thought you might be pleased. But, I did want to warn you, because the personality changes will be drastic." He rose from the chair, and was about to walk off when Bulma took his arm.

"Doctor, I just have one question."

"Oh?" He paused.

"How did this creature get inside of him? Did he accidentally injest it or something?" She had to know so she could avoid this ever happening in the future.

"Err," The doctor's face flushed red. "Well, actually, we believe the creature enters the body through the rectum."

Bulma's eyes widened. "So in other words, Vegeta's problems all stem from the fact that he had a bug up his ass?"


End file.
